Lost Password?
  • Narrow screen resolution
  • Wide screen resolution
  • Auto width resolution
  • Increase font size
  • Decrease font size
  • Default font size
  • green color

ETims Online Celtic Fanzine

Tuesday
Sep 07th
TFOD
Gruesome, hideous, grotesque, abominable. Some of the adjectives used to describe the ETims Editor but every bit as relevant to this most horrid of ETims Sections. Not for kids nor the faint hearted.
Filter     Order     Display # 
Date Item Title Author
Monday, 05 July 2010 Give It Away Bedford Falls
Thursday, 17 June 2010 Corporate Speak for Dummies Ringo Harrison
Sunday, 30 May 2010 The Origin of the Species Bedford Falls
Friday, 21 May 2010 A Day in the Life of David Edgar Bedford Falls
Friday, 30 April 2010 Guess Whos Back...back again M Barrasing
Thursday, 15 April 2010 (C)Ash Cloud heads towards Ibrox Desi Mond
Tuesday, 30 March 2010 Another McColl rejection for Rangers Trust Desi Mond
Thursday, 04 February 2010 In the Darkest Depths of Mordor: Part VIII – Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder Bedford Falls
Tuesday, 12 January 2010 Rangers Legend Roberts Does Runner With Books Desi Mond
Wednesday, 23 December 2009 T'was the Night Before... Bedford Falls
Tuesday, 01 December 2009 Scottish Politicans In Secret Talks With Rangers Trust Desi Mond
Saturday, 14 November 2009 A Hunmas Carroll Charlie Dickens
Thursday, 22 October 2009 A Squaddies Tale of Post-Traumatic Stress Che Timvara
Thursday, 15 October 2009 PM Announces Award For 'Bravest of the Brave' Desi Mond
Tuesday, 15 September 2009 In the Darkest Depths of Mordor, Part VII: The Chairman Is Leaving Bedford Falls
Thursday, 30 July 2009 In the Darkest Depths of Mordor: Bazza Special Bedford Falls
Tuesday, 02 June 2009 Hun Flu Virus Hits South Lanarkshire Hector Bandido
Monday, 23 March 2009 The Official Dictionary for the Average Rangers Supporter Bedford Falls
Wednesday, 28 January 2009 Sir David Murray - I Deserve Better Gaudd
Friday, 16 January 2009 Etims intercept copy of the latest RST survey Mandolin
Wednesday, 14 January 2009 Play For Today - Murray My Darling Desi Mond
Wednesday, 07 January 2009 Rangers's Secret £700M Blueprint For Ibrox- UPDATE!! Mandolin
Monday, 10 November 2008 A Bigots Confession Che Timvara
Tuesday, 05 August 2008 In the Darkest Depths of Mordor: Part V – Kansas City Shuffle Bedford Falls
Sunday, 13 July 2008 Murray Park Pre-Season Spying Mission Bedford Falls
Tuesday, 24 June 2008 Bazza and Kirk Go To Paris Pump Fiction
Thursday, 12 June 2008 MONGOL HORDE LETTER UNEARTHED Hyacinth Dingwall
Saturday, 07 June 2008 Rangers Trust Hits Back Hyacinth Edgar
Friday, 30 May 2008 In the Darkest Depths of Mordor, Part IV: Bedford Falls
Tuesday, 13 May 2008 ETims Exclusive - Manchester 08 Shirt Unveiled Desi Mond
 
<< Start < Prev 1 2 Next > End >>
Results 1 - 30 of 57
ETims - The Main Event
  • Pause
  • Previous
  • Next
1/8
The Monday After Friday International Week Excuse Late Supplement Please allow me to introduce myself
I'm a man of wealth and taste
I've been around for about seven years
Stole many a man's dough and faith

I was 'round when Aiden McGeady
Had his moment of doubt and pain
Made damn sure that Spartak
Greased his hands and sealed his fate

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name
But what's puzzling you
Is the nature of my game

I stuck around Florence Italy
When I saw it was a time to grab some change
Sealed the deal with La Viola
The Holy Goalie screamed in vain

Been called a wank
Raided your piggy bank
When the mid-years raged
And the finance stank

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name, oh yeah
Ah, what's puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, oh yeah
(woo woo, woo woo)

I watched with glee
While your trades and kings
Sold for millions made
Traded for duds instead
(woo woo, woo woo)

I shouted out,
"Who paid for Robbie Keane?"
When after all
It was you not me
(who who, who who)

Let me please introduce myself
I'm a man of wealth and taste
And I laid traps for tabloid hacks
Who get briefed before they reached Gallowgate
(woo woo, who who)

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, oh yeah
(who who)
But what's puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, oh yeah, get down, baby
(who who, who who)

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, oh yeah
But what's confusing you
Is just the nature of my game
(woo woo, who who)

Just as every cost is criminal
But all my bonuses great
As heads is tails
Just call me Peter yeah
'Cause I'm in need of some restraint
(who who, who who)

So if you meet me
Have some courtesy
Have some sympathy, have some taste
(woo woo)
Use all your well-learned politesse
As I lay this club to waste, mmm yeah
(woo woo, woo woo)

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, mmm yeah
(who who)
But what's puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, mmm mean it, get down
(woo woo, woo woo)

Woo, who
Oh yeah, will bring ya down
Oh yeah
Oh yeah!
(woo woo)

Tell me baby, what's my name
Tell me Lenny, can ya guess my game
Tell me baby, what's my name
I tell you one time, you're to blame

Oh, who
woo, woo
Woo, who
Woo, woo
Woo, who, who
Woo, who, who
Oh, yeah

What's my name
Tell me, baby, what's my name
Tell me, sweetie, what's my name

Woo, who, who
Woo, who, who
Woo, who, who
Woo, who, who
Woo, who, who
Woo, who, who
Oh, yeah
Woo woo
Woo woo
Read more...
 
   
Rumour Mill
The Morning After The Night Before Friday Supplement I was happy in the haze of a drunken hour but heaven knows I'm miserable now I was looking for a job, and then I found a job and heaven knows I'm m...
The Forces Of Darkness
Give It Away By Allen Putallo The billionaire entrepreneurial genius Sir David Murray has donated $1.8bn (Zimbabwean) to the Gates Foundation, a charity set-up ...
 
Advertisement
  • Latest Video

    Unlike the Murphy's Craig Brown isn't bitter. Goal against Motherwell in the 1-0 victory on Sunday. Courtesy of youtube.

  • Contact Us

     Have a gripe? What to contribute? Fancy anyone on the team (ok that's stretching credulity a bit too far but what the hell its worth a chance)? Have insider knowledge that will shake the very foundations of the entire sport? Know the whereabouts of Dermot Desmond's stony heart? Then contact ETims as we'll be delighted to hear from you.

    Drop a mail to  This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it

    Twice.

    It'll at least stop us having an excuse we never received it... 

  • Features

    feturesthe one thing which we feel stands this site out from any other online Celtic Fanzine is the quality and variety of our feature articles. no one agenda, no one party line, no plagiarism for the sake of churning out some aul pish, just articles written by Celtic Fans who enjoy writing articles about Celtic, being Celtic and all that entails.

    we even offer a right to reply if it annoys you that much.

    like it? think you can do better. didn't like it? whatever yer bag - drop us a line to This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it .

    NB: please make it coherent billy from brigton. and "Pope" is spelt "P...O..P...E"

 
  • About ETims

     ETims has been about for quite a few years now.

    It's grown from what was the old Dogs Bollix Scottish Football site to it's current incarnation as ETims.

    If you're intrigued as to just what on earth this site you've stumbled into is about, or where it came from CLICK HERE.

    You might be pleasantly surprised. Then again you might not. We're a sensitive bunch though so please do let us know your thoughts. Drop us a mail to This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it .

  • Monthly Edition

    monthly once a month a great thing happens. we actually get the finger out and write something of substance.

    well, Kiwi Mick does. and whoever else is remotely reliable at that particular time.

    From Player of the Month, to Arse of the Month to, well, whatever else we can think of between now and people start asking questions.

    As far as we're aware it's the one thing Nakamura looks for each 月の第31...

  • ETims On Facebook

    plainE-tims on Facebook!

    If you have a Facebook account, or are thinking about signing up, take a saunter along, click on the link below and join the

    ETims Online Celtic Fanzine group on Facebook.

    Problems with links?? Alright then. Copy and paste the following into your browser and off you go...

    http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=7436551295.

    Open a debate on the discussion board, post videos and photos, leave messages, molest squirrels, yes its all there... save for squirrel molestation which is an optional extra. 

Statistics

OS: Linux s
PHP: 5.2.13
MySQL: 4.1.22-standard-log
Time: 09:06
Caching: Enabled
GZIP: Enabled
Members: 11
News: 2962
Web Links: 9
Visitors: 20710009

ETims Humour

Humourwe like to think we're funny. many people differ though. Here we present the Humour section of the site. If you don't like it we'll probably cry. It's not big. It's not clever. It's also probably not funny...

CLICK HERE - YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO...

ETims Legends

over the course of the next while we'll be building up a section detailing Celtic Legends from the founding of our club onwards.

Contrary to the official Celtic poll of 2006 Celtic did have some legendary players pre-1996.

CLICK HERE TO ACCESS THIS SECTION 

ETims Awards

they're special. they mean something. some go a lifetime without them.

some crumble under the weight of them. gongs eh?

here we present the best of the best. ETims Awards. CLICK HERE