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ETims Online Celtic Fanzine

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Sep 07th
Home arrow Feature Articles arrow Specials arrow Who should a Celtic Fan vote for?
Who should a Celtic Fan vote for? Print E-mail
Written by Jeremy PacMan   
Thursday, 06 May 2010
Digg!

Its Election Day and the question on many Celtic Fans minds is 'Just who should I vote for?'

Now far be it for a bunch of illegal immigrants here at Etims to try and persuade you who to cast your X for, if it was up to us Cheryl Cole would get in every time.

We've had a look at the main Parties and given our perspective from a Celtic point of view, just dont go crying to your Mummy if your candidate doesnt get in!

 


 


Labour
Well with a history of social sensitivity, lets be honest we all do relate Celtic with Labour. if theres a party you would liken to Brother Walfrid its the party who gave us social welfare reform and who gave the working man a hand up.

Then we remembered that in this day and age, such romantic links have gone, today it is Celtic PLC and it is New Labour we are talking about. Dr John Reid, Michael Martin, Mike McMahon and Jim Murphy are obvious Celtic links but they do more to dissuade any Celtic fan with a sense of integrity. While ex-Scottish lead Henry MacLeish is trying to improve the Scottish game, Gordon Brown still has his Raith Rovers affiliation ( somewhere Paul McStay just shuddered and doesnt know why).

Despite Ian Davidsons calls for a Republic, it might just be too wide a chasm for genuine celts to recognise themselves among modern labour priorities but then what do we know, we still miss Steven Purcells daily photo-opportunities!

 




 

SNP
Lets see, Celtic are Scottish, The fans sing songs about Nationalism and they like to party ala Seville 2003. Sounds ideal. To be fair there are forum rumblings about former SNP leaders making Catholic jibes during the Falklands Conflict and there is the fact that Alec Salmond is a Hearts man.

The last time Celtic heard a William Wallace style cry for Freedom was Paulo Di Canio and his leetul problem. The SNP are calling for big change and the Celtic fans are doing the same, given Dermot Desmond Manager History, at least one of those groups is unlikely to get what they want.

We just wish Nicola Sturgeon would get rid of that fringe, its so Kevin Thomson!



 

Conservatives
They are blue and they are Unionist. Even worse they have a man named Liam Fox, remember Franny Jeffers 'The Lame Fox in the Box' at Ibrox. Enough said, like being stuck in a lift with Nacho Novo without your steel toe-caps, must be avoided at all costs. And there will be costs alright.

Did we mention Sir David Murray supports them?...what do you mean who he? Most Celtic fans remember the warm welcome Thatcher got at the Cup Final in the 80s, when we say warm we mean 'Burn in hell' warm, we look forward to Murdo MacLeod being the only one clapping should David Cameron appear at Hampden Park any time soon

 



 

Liberal Democrats
Now some Forum folk out there may say the Middle of the road isnt a bad place to be, but have they never seen roadkill? To be fair going for a safe option might be a wise move for Celtic fans in this troubling season.

Given their use of yellowish orangey colours this could be the party for Neil Lennon fans out there to get behind. Ultimately its another Rich Leader playing at being one of the Hoi Polloi and saying he has everyones concerns at heart, talking of which, has anyone seen Peter Lawwell lately?

 

Scottish Socialist Party
Ah the best laid plans of mice and men. Like the appointment of Tony Mowbray, on paper it seems everything should be set up for a perfect match between the Celtic fans ethos and the SSP vote but somehow in implementation it all collapses in an ugly heap with people shouting at each other, accusations flying here there and everywhere and even court action being rumoured.

 



 

The Scottish Green Party
Now at first it appears a marrage made in colour-chart Heaven. What could be better than a match up with Celtic than the Greens. Ist even quoted as left-wing on wikipedia..whats more Celtic than something left on the wing!

But then we remembered, The Greens are all about the lovely environment and looking after the little creatures...that got us thinking about the birds and the bees and suddenly we remembered the horror results playing in that Bumble-bee outfit this season. Suddenly you feel all dirty, dont you?

 


 

Scottish Senior Citizens Unity Party
Grumble McGripe and his moaning croanies in the 417 are bound to be voting for the Pensioner brigade. The voting will mean a welcome break from them talking about how it used to be so good watching Celtic play the Celtic way but sadly they might start moaning that even Elections were better back in the auld days of wally dugs on the mantlepiece and Charlie Tully on the wing.

 



 

Christian Peoples Alliance
They will be praying (gettit) that Celtic fans think Christian Alliance and then think of Ghod and Chris(tian) Sutton instead of thinking of Chris 'Christian' McLure the so called entertainer from The Pavilion \ Edminston Suite circa 1978!

 

United Kingdom Independence Party
Theres many a Celtic fan who will be thinking of last seasons shocking displays in Europe and think this Party might be the one for them. Celtic of course do have a fine European history which shouldnt be forgotten despite recent issues. There will be a split between the Samaras fans too when considering the problems Greece have brought upon us, and we dont mean the country and its economic shadow, more big lanky Giorgios and his 5 oclock shadow drifting in and out of every game.

 

Plaid Cymru
Quiet unassuming but you really dont want to mess with them when it comes down to the nitty gritty "late night discussions". One for John Hartson fans!

 

Sinn Fein
To borrow a joke from Spitting Image, best you vote for them where you can, they know where you live! Paddy McCourt would vote for them but hes too knacked to lift a pencil. Niall McGinn hopes to post a vote for them once he finishes his exams in a few years.


Monster Raving Loony Party

A bunch of  daft idiots having a joke and no-one takes seriously. Could be any Supporters trust really but lets leave them to the David Edgars and co. of this mad world

 









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Last Updated ( Thursday, 06 May 2010 )
 
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The Monday After Friday International Week Excuse Late Supplement Please allow me to introduce myself
I'm a man of wealth and taste
I've been around for about seven years
Stole many a man's dough and faith

I was 'round when Aiden McGeady
Had his moment of doubt and pain
Made damn sure that Spartak
Greased his hands and sealed his fate

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Hope you guess my name
But what's puzzling you
Is the nature of my game

I stuck around Florence Italy
When I saw it was a time to grab some change
Sealed the deal with La Viola
The Holy Goalie screamed in vain

Been called a wank
Raided your piggy bank
When the mid-years raged
And the finance stank

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name, oh yeah
Ah, what's puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, oh yeah
(woo woo, woo woo)

I watched with glee
While your trades and kings
Sold for millions made
Traded for duds instead
(woo woo, woo woo)

I shouted out,
"Who paid for Robbie Keane?"
When after all
It was you not me
(who who, who who)

Let me please introduce myself
I'm a man of wealth and taste
And I laid traps for tabloid hacks
Who get briefed before they reached Gallowgate
(woo woo, who who)

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, oh yeah
(who who)
But what's puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, oh yeah, get down, baby
(who who, who who)

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, oh yeah
But what's confusing you
Is just the nature of my game
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But all my bonuses great
As heads is tails
Just call me Peter yeah
'Cause I'm in need of some restraint
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So if you meet me
Have some courtesy
Have some sympathy, have some taste
(woo woo)
Use all your well-learned politesse
As I lay this club to waste, mmm yeah
(woo woo, woo woo)

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, mmm yeah
(who who)
But what's puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, mmm mean it, get down
(woo woo, woo woo)

Woo, who
Oh yeah, will bring ya down
Oh yeah
Oh yeah!
(woo woo)

Tell me baby, what's my name
Tell me Lenny, can ya guess my game
Tell me baby, what's my name
I tell you one time, you're to blame

Oh, who
woo, woo
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Oh, yeah

What's my name
Tell me, baby, what's my name
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Woo, who, who
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Woo, who, who
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Oh, yeah
Woo woo
Woo woo
Read more...
 
   
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