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ETims Friday Supplement: 18th June 2010

Written by Bon Scott
Friday, 18 June 2010
Gamma rays, that’s what we need. It’ll cure the predilection the youth teams have for producing 5’ 2” wingers with all the strength of a can of Kaliber. Banner showed us the way; pump them full of the good radiation and then wind them up with episodes of Smallville which cut off five minutes before the end and sooner than you know we’ll have a team of giants and brutes who will bully their way to the title. Just like MON’s days, eh? Plus, green is our colour – not sure about the purple shorts though. So, welcome back to The Friday Supplement, which was on a hiatus last week, as the big tormenter Rui Milla wanted the pages for his own special brand of made-upness. Oh, and what a productive week it was. Thanks to a constraining order being overturned the supplement is now allowed back in the same street as Beyonce Knowles – so long as it is Yonge Street. This week’s diet edition contains all the usual gravitas and veritas you have no doubt come to expect from the supplement. We wouldn’t want to be telling lies would we? That’s the 200-word preamble done; down to business. We have the 'read between the lines’ thing with Trappatoni being sounded out for a role at Celtic. An alternative could be to ask readers to 'read between the lines' when thinking about recent stories such as Martin O’Neill, etc. I’m sure you know what we mean. Straight from the man himself, although he doesn’t want to be named so we’ll use a pseudonym. Wellamy and Lenny apparently had a very productive phone call at the weekend, and the Cymru legend is keen, to point of peeing himself, to come back up north. Ideally on a permanent basis but a loan would work for both parties. Wellamy feels he has some unfinished business up here. Mentorgate rumbles along with Davie Hay’s name currently scrolling around the city ticker-tape in Times Square. Go over and see if you don’t believe us. The conditions of Hector Bandido’s parole doesn’t allow him to go to away games – shame. We’ve already told you to look out for a couple of players at the world cup, especially interesting Lenny were a couple of who are out of contract. Have you searched for out of contract players yet? There’s more than you think. BTW: how shite has the Greatest Show on Earth been? Roll on ECL qualifying. So much for our London CSC spy seeing Andy Moller’s mate on an early flight with the world on his shoulders just after the last Old Firm game, seems his marriage is in trouble what with his commuting between Norwich and Houston, a possible other good reason he was actually hoping for the Celtic gig. Shame the only discussions came to giving Lenny a thumbs up but Lambert on a defo short list if things don’t work out, which we all hope they do of course. Surely it’s not true what we heard about contractual clauses centered round behaviour for certain players? Mickey Mouse Clubhouse star Goofy Samaras considering a move back to Greece with a concrete offer on the table from the Greek Shamrocks. Our mole in Celtic tells us Lenny has set his sights higher than SPL level cloggers and as such, Heart’s Goncalves is off the list. The recent interest from the Huns is being prepared as a ‘sensational swoop’ and a ‘hammer blow to the hoops’ and ‘indicative of the genius of Murray’ – the last headline will be in The Hootsman so long as Al finds his way out of Sir Moonbeams’ rectum long enough to get to a typewriter. Whilst we are on the subject of the meeja, thanks to papers for taking our Lenny quotes on Sammi and filling their newssheets and web-pages with them, at least the London based pressman was good enough to give us a nod (thanks), unlike the Scottish pariahs. Sally is not a happy bunny at Ibrox. Talk of taking next open job offered to him along with an analyst\review gig at ESPN. Rangers will blame the credit crunch. It’s him or Kenny MacDaddy, you decide! We repeat, more Irish out than in regardless of what the papers say! Think about it… Interesting news reaches us from across the water that certain interested investors in the Club are watching the current shenanigans with curiosity. Apparently another season of under performance and dwindling crowds will be enough to attract said parties to the table with an offer of two ginger bottles and a peanut butter piece for batches of 100 shares. They are hoping for the same slingshot effect which brought The Bunnet a good deal of cash. Double D fancies the readies but wants to sell from a position of strength. We are told Kris Boyd was considering an offer of big bucks in Greece but he then saw the riots and said it looked as if the people were a bit rough. Irony? Steven Davis and that green rug: 3,000 might have hidden the rug but it didn’t stop the DJ throwing in a few classics. Kudos to the Carmyle man. That’s yer lot for this week. If you have any revelations you haven’t already posted on CU Rumours or KDS or in the second cubicle on the fourth floor then email us at This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it : if you don’t have any juicy gossip just send a picture of your sister. > We leave it to Bon Scott finish this week's nonsense with an ode to Neil Lennon: Livin' easy, livin' free, season ticket on a one-way ride. Ask me nothing, leave me be, taking everything in my stride. Don't need reason, don't need rhyme. There ain't nothing I would rather do.
Last Updated ( Friday, 18 June 2010 )

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Over the past two decades, and probably quite a few years further back than that, Celtic have had very few central defenders truly worthy of the jersey. Try as it might the club just hasn't been able to function with two centre halves playing well together for any great length of time. Sure we've had some decent players enjoying the odd very good season – Paul Elliott in 1990/91, Marc Rieper in 1997/98, Bobo Balde in 2001/2002, and Johan Mjallby the following year – but more generally we've struggled to find two operating in unison, with last season's unsettling run of makeshift combinations perhaps providing the sort of nadir not seen since the day Liam Brady thought he just might be onto something by combining the blood and snotters of Mikey Galloway with the youthful exuberance of Mark McNally.

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