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ETims Friday Supplement: 25 June 2010

Written by Jason Orange
Thursday, 24 June 2010
Blah, blah, blah. Preamble for the sake of sneaking in an extra couple of paragraphs and padding out a slow news week. Say something witty or use a comment from someone semi-famous and revel in the knowledge you are smarter than them. Them, that’s you dear viewer. Yes, it is you The Supplement is better than, of course it is, why wouldn’t it be. The Supplement created God, bet you didn’t know that? But that little achievement is nothing compared to The Supplement’s achievement this week, yes, this week The Supplement got so high on things that only mean-looking mofos in duffle coats sell that it forgot what day of the week it was. Luckily The Supplement’s mum has written ‘Friday’ on the label inside The Supplement’s parker. Back For Good was a Take That song: we know that. Will you stop emailing us about it? Right, Corporate Box sellers at CP getting desperate and telling investors that it’s OK if McGeady goes ‘cos we’ll use the cash to bring in Bellamy and Keane. It’s not been clarified whether or not they are referring to the ex-loanees or if they mean jowl-chopped David Bellamy and some god-awful posh pop combo who only found the guitar after people got bored listening to their wailing. Everything Changes was a Take That song, too. Enough! And yes, McGeady is going – no maybes. We told you that in March. Papa One-Trick wants his bhoy to take his feint-swivel-sclaff out the park ruse to pastures new. Would you let him go for Keane and Bellamy, or even one of them? Could It Be Magic? Naw. Goalies. These guys are so mad they are barred from Carstairs in case they wind the locals up and The HG is the maddest of the mad. He’s so mad he blessed himself at Ibrox, etc. Now, The HG is no rush to leave and the Harper rumours are the kind of things tabloid mathematicians’ build formulas around. Here is the sum, as found on the back of a chip wrapper: ((Thompson to Celtic + HG in last year of contract) – (Evidence)) + lack of rumours = Steve Harper to Celtic. Now ETims would never do this. Babe. A film about a pig. Leave it! Strange how Boydichenko is still without a club. Fatty diet is not a medical’s friend. Perhaps that offer of Celtic – even though done through the third hand of a third person who was a third smaller than Ronnie Corbett – may prove tempting at some point. Relight My Fire. The last thing the BP CEO wants to hear right now. Slick, eh? Oh, meant to say. The HG is in no rush to leave and if he does it will be because Lenny wants the cash. Zaluska, The HG Mk.2, will be numero uno and we will not sign a first choice ahead of him; the big Americano (blue jeans and chinos) will step-up to be cover for Zal (not to be confused the clown from SAHB). Pray. It’s all I do each night. A left-back, a centre-half, two midfielders and a striker. OK? All of the above are on the shopping list. But you know that already, don’t you? You only need to read the tabloids to see the crap the journos are throwing at walls. What they don’t know is we have signed one of these already and it ain’t Charlie MulletGrower. Do What You Like. All right, I will. A new fitness regime has kicked in for Scotland’s whistlers and there are a couple of grumbles. Pooh has no desire to see referees being lamented like last season and believes it is ability to keep up with play coupled with docile body language which is causes the Masonic middle-men their biggest problem. Remember we told you Pooh has a running style he wants to land on the whistlers? It is genuinely part of their pre-season schedule. Watch out for lots of grown men running around as if pooh is in their pants (see what we did there?) That’s yer lot for this week. Thanks for your Patience on this Greatest Day. If you want to show us How Deep Is Your Love then It Only Takes A Minute to email us at an address you should Never Forget. Sure, Love Ain’t Here Anymore, but maybe if we were sent A Million Love Songs the question Why Can’t I Wake Up With You would no longer have to be asked. Either that or send made-up pish to This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it Oh, and one last thing, don’t tell the police about our man in the duffle coat. They’ll only get the rubber hoses out and give you the third degree.
Last Updated ( Thursday, 24 June 2010 )

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Welcome To Celtic Madge (Big Danny!)

Over the past two decades, and probably quite a few years further back than that, Celtic have had very few central defenders truly worthy of the jersey. Try as it might the club just hasn't been able to function with two centre halves playing well together for any great length of time. Sure we've had some decent players enjoying the odd very good season – Paul Elliott in 1990/91, Marc Rieper in 1997/98, Bobo Balde in 2001/2002, and Johan Mjallby the following year – but more generally we've struggled to find two operating in unison, with last season's unsettling run of makeshift combinations perhaps providing the sort of nadir not seen since the day Liam Brady thought he just might be onto something by combining the blood and snotters of Mikey Galloway with the youthful exuberance of Mark McNally.

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